Anger Management: How to Control Your Anger to Get The Most Out of Your Life
Anger Management: How to Control Your Anger to Get The Most Out of Your Life - DO YOU HAVE AN ANGER PROBLEM?
We see these angry people on TV all the time. The husband and wife, arguing while they're washing dishes, who end up smashing plates full of food all over the kitchen. The angry teenager screaming “I hate you!” at his parents while he
smashes his cell phone into the wall and then runs to his room and slams the door. Even young children get into the act, stomping on toys and throwing tantrums left and right. And then someone usually says something funny, the
audience laughs, and the whole incident is forgotten.
What they don't show you on TV is that someone has to clean up that mess in the kitchen. And someone has to pay to replace the plates. They don't show you that the reason the teenager thinks it's OK to scream and destroy his cellphone is because he watches his parents act the same way. And they don't tell you that the reason the toddler is so angry is because everybody else in the house is always screaming and throwing things.
What they don't show you on TV is all the harm anger can do. It has lasting effects on everyone around you. The toddler who is standing in the doorway witnessing the plate-throwing incident between mommy and daddy is learning that, when you're angry, it must be OK to scream and throw things. Mommy and daddy do it. And it must be OK to call people names – mommy and daddy do it all the time.
Too often we look for scapegoats, we look to others to blame for our bad choices because it’s difficult to accept that we ourselves may be the problem. The way I look at it, when the same issues continue to arise, when you often find yourself at the center of turmoil in your personal and professional life and you always arrive at the same outcome, for example your co-workers keep their distance from you and you find the same is true at home and your spouse and family do the same thing then perhaps the problem isn’t purely coincidental. If you find that you keep getting the same outcomes and reactions from people in your life, then it could be you. It’s what you’re doing that you’re not aware of.
This should be a wake up call that you need to change. The sooner you can recognize this in yourself and that you need to change, the quicker you’ll have your life back on track. Just remember, if you keep getting the same reactions from people in regards to your behavior then you need to take a good long look at yourself and change some things. Wake up and observe other’s reactions to you, why do they treat you in a certain way?, what is it you are doing for people to treat you in this manner? Observe not only what you say to others but how you say it and how they react in response. You might find that you come across angry or have an aggressive tone when you speak without even realizing it.
What they don't show you on TV is that someone has to clean up that mess in the kitchen. And someone has to pay to replace the plates. They don't show you that the reason the teenager thinks it's OK to scream and destroy his cellphone is because he watches his parents act the same way. And they don't tell you that the reason the toddler is so angry is because everybody else in the house is always screaming and throwing things.
What they don't show you on TV is all the harm anger can do. It has lasting effects on everyone around you. The toddler who is standing in the doorway witnessing the plate-throwing incident between mommy and daddy is learning that, when you're angry, it must be OK to scream and throw things. Mommy and daddy do it. And it must be OK to call people names – mommy and daddy do it all the time.
Too often we look for scapegoats, we look to others to blame for our bad choices because it’s difficult to accept that we ourselves may be the problem. The way I look at it, when the same issues continue to arise, when you often find yourself at the center of turmoil in your personal and professional life and you always arrive at the same outcome, for example your co-workers keep their distance from you and you find the same is true at home and your spouse and family do the same thing then perhaps the problem isn’t purely coincidental. If you find that you keep getting the same outcomes and reactions from people in your life, then it could be you. It’s what you’re doing that you’re not aware of.
This should be a wake up call that you need to change. The sooner you can recognize this in yourself and that you need to change, the quicker you’ll have your life back on track. Just remember, if you keep getting the same reactions from people in regards to your behavior then you need to take a good long look at yourself and change some things. Wake up and observe other’s reactions to you, why do they treat you in a certain way?, what is it you are doing for people to treat you in this manner? Observe not only what you say to others but how you say it and how they react in response. You might find that you come across angry or have an aggressive tone when you speak without even realizing it.
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